


Death Becomes You

by TrepidationChance



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:56:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13215186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrepidationChance/pseuds/TrepidationChance
Summary: What was left unsaid in Episode 11.





	Death Becomes You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ayam692001](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayam692001/gifts).



> This is for the Joker Game Secret Santa and I got ayam692001!! I hope you had an awesome holidays and a happy new year! Enjoy~

His mission was complete.

Miyoshi continued to scan the newspaper in his hands - Tazaki liked to be unique at times - before looking out of the window, feeling a sigh press against his chest. How many had he succeeded now? 

One of the first things he had convinced himself was that he was going to die. It’s an odd thing to repeat, when you’re still in your prime, but Miyoshi chanted it every day. He was going to die, whether it be under someone else’s tombstone or as an old man, withering away alone. He never had expectations to complete his first mission, or the next, or the one after that.

However, he did. Every time he did, he got to see Yuuki.

He probably saw to everyone’s debriefing, but knowing he had cared enough to personally do it made Miyoshi feel… . He was accomplished, he was good at his job - if not the best - and he, for just a few minutes, had the undivided attention of his spymaster.

He knew pursuing this train of thought was useless, but even  _ he _ couldn’t help it, no matter how long he has trained for. It was a fantasy, a daydream, a notion that maybe he wasn’t alone in his emotions. Perhaps he was, perhaps he wasn’t. Yuuki wasn’t one to reveal his hand too early.

Miyoshi just hoped he would still be alive to see it.

Many times he thought about resigning, like Odagiri did. The thrill of the job was starting to fade, and his future looked as bleak as the weather outside, unforgiving behind enemy lines. Japan was no better, ravaged by the war and bound to feel the consequences echo for generations to come. There was nothing to go back to, he made sure of that, but the longing for home was hard to quell. Maybe he could slink back into the shadows, taking his secrets with him.

Maybe he could visit the others before they disappeared too.

Maybe he could see Yuuki one last time.

Miyoshi’s plan was simple; once he got back to Japan, he would be gone. It would be easy, considering the lack of order that currently gripped the nation. He would take a boat to Manchuria and travel inland, making his way to Europe before finally settling down. No one would find him, if he took the right steps.

It would take years he imagined, slowly trekking through the continents, but he would be safe. No need to die, no need to kill. Yuuki’s advice was short and sweet, but seemed to be the hardest to pull off in the middle of a warzone. Fancy that.

The train continued its rattling as it inched closer to its final destination, away from the live drop. Again, it was Yuuki, waiting for him. He itched with questions at the time, but gave up before he could ask. There was no point, especially if he would not receive any answers. He couldn’t help but take a glance up at him though, hiding behind a smirk as he searched for a sign,  _ anything _ .

Nothing.

Perhaps there wasn’t anything to be found. Perhaps Yuuki still thought it was too early.

He resisted the urge to chuckle. Maybe it was Miyoshi that was too late. There were many secrets hidden behind Yuuki’s blank face, his pressed suit; his grey eyes, shrouded in mystery. Who knows? Maybe this whole spy agency thing was an affair, something to wait his time with. Maybe he had someone to go home to. Maybe he was playing them after all.

He couldn’t find in himself to care.

He was no one now. No past, no future. Just this.

He was a quick smile, a careful stroke, a playful eye.

He was a good shot, a fast runner, a quiet stalker.

Inside though, he had let  _ him _ live on, and what good did it do? It bred… emotions, fears,  _ chaos _ .

 

Will he be remembered?

Will Yuuki-

* * *

He did not expect to hear anything, but the deafening silence of the hospital room was enough to confirm the deaths of the two bodies inside. He slowly tread over, almost afraid of waking any of them up from their sumber. It was dark, but Yuuki got Miyoshi’s dying message. He applauded his student, still focussed on the mission despite standing at death’s door. Perhaps that’s why he looked so serene; he had finally escaped.

He reached by the side of the bed, and kept his hands to his cane. There was no point in reaching out, no matter how much the lifeless man beckoned for it. He was still beautiful, even in passing.

Yuuki was especially fond of his eyes, filled with a lurking rawness he had grown to expect. The blank eyes staring back at him now was unsettling. His gut wrenched, his throat tightened. Miyoshi was truly dead.

He paused, before reached forwards and gently closed them, hiding the loss behind. His loss.

He should have folded to Miyoshi.


End file.
